Mentionable Monday 9/12/11

Howdy ya'll...so I was fail this weekend and didn't get your one shot rec to you...so this will be a double entry.

For a good laugh, give this oneshot a try.

Edward and the Tampon
by livelaughloveWRITE

I'm going to forgo the summary and the teaser...I think the title says it all!

Okay, now for your Monday completed fic rec.  This is not your normal fic...it's dark and twisted and will shock you!

The Elusive Mr. Cullen
by dariachenowith

Bella is a high class escort, Edward her newest client. They soon realize that there's more between them than great sex and witty conversations. While Bella doesn't believe in fairy tales, her life seems to be turning into one fast. Or is it? AH/OCC Rated M 29 Chapters

Teaser:

Swallowing my irritation I take the seat across from her, then order some mineral water from the waiter. By the time my drink arrives Rose is still occupied, deliberately letting me stew, but after years of knowing her, I'm used to this by now. She always seems to feel the need to put me in my place, but if the worst she has to offer is ignoring me for ten minutes, I will survive.
When she finally deigns to acknowledge me she puts her phone away, then takes a sip from her Mimosa.

"This one should be interesting. Very specific demands, but right down your alley."

"Spoiled, rich kid?" I venture a guess. Somehow she always ends up giving me the difficult ones.

"Not quite, but he did make his first million by age 24, or so they say."

"So money's not a problem?"

"When is it ever, darling?" she drawls, her smile turning a hint more genuine. When she falls silent, I take the bait.

"You said his demands were specific? How so?"

"Hair and eye color, college education, above average intelligence, class."

I find it a bit strange that she doesn't mention looks or age, but I've had my fair share of clients whose interests lie outside of the conventional demands.

"So he has a type and wants his perfect woman for the evening to be able to lead a conversation. I hope you're not going to charge him extra for not appearing like an ass but acting like a gentleman."

Her smile takes on a slight edge.

"We didn't agree on a rate yet. I told him what we charge as a standard fee, and he said he wants to discuss the specifics with you. You know what that usually means?"

I sigh, the flutter of excitement I briefly felt disappearing fast.

"Anal or something kinky, and he wants to book me for the weekend. Maybe I should have worn latex instead?"

Rose simply inclines her head, then slides a business card across the table. Her neat handwriting spells out an address in the old part of town, very posh, no dashes between the numbers. Strangely enough, no name, but it happens.

"I hope you did a background check on him, seeing as you're so eager to send me straight into the lion's den."